I drove cholera out of Auckland
I set fire to my sheets
I built a mall and made a small fortune frying eats
 
I stopped the water from overflowing
I fixed all of the lights
I even won the Nobel Peace Prize once or twice
 
The hand has fingers
The heart has strings
No blur from a bottom dream’s gonna split on me
Vlad has wings, Vlad has wings
 
My baby wears a nappy liner
She takes a chance
You oughta get an ocean-liner silkscreened to your pants
 
Then all the sailorboys and ballast air-hostesses
Could trade you handholds
On their lanyards and their dresses
 
The hand has fingers, etc.
 
He’s not bad, he’s not bad x 6
 
I saved an endangered species
I turned the volume down
Mixing in the newspeakeasy barker-role, in quiet towns
 
The hand has fingers, etc