To my colleagues and friends 
On this joyous occasion 
Let us all raise our hands 
And pay tribute to treason 
I've prepared to read some 
Jive that I've devised 
Comprised of 
Lies that will make you ill 
And that's how I became 
The King of Bullshit Hill 

Someone told me 
Rather boldly 
That I wasn't working very hard 
I'm the mac dad 
Such a fat cat 
I can make my breakfast out of lard 
And I bought the company 
Now you work for me 
Just sit tight for a while 
I'll rank if you file 
As you can see, 
Compared to me, these fake emcees 
No, nobody gets more ill 
And that's how I became 
The King of Bullshit 

I'll buy your heart 
I'll sell your head 
I'll own you 'til you're goddamn good and dead 
You're in my place 
I'm on your case 
Now who'se my little cardboard smiling face? 
This will work out for me 
That's my company policy 
I act like a phoenix 
The tabloids say 
I peaked in 1995 
But making big money still 
And that's how I became 
The King of Bullshit 

To the head of the class 
To the head of the nation 
You can all kiss my hands 
You can chair my foundation 
For fiscal masturbation 

Prize if I have to vie, ever lied 
Just wait 'til you get my bill 
And that's how I became 
And someday you'll become 
And everbody loves 
The King of Bullshit Hill 

I'll buy your heart 
I'll sell your head 
(No money down, no money down) 
No money down your heart 
No money your head 
(Half off, two to one) 
Half off your heart 
Two-for-one your heads 
Big savings your heart 
Super sale your head 
No interest your heart 
No interest your head 
I'll buy your heart 
I'll sell your head, yeah 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 
No money down your heart 
No money down your head 
I'll buy your heart 
I'll sell your head, yeah