Went down to the kitchen to get myself a knife

It's not to butter my bread, oh no it's for my wife

The other day I saw her banging my neighbour Mitch 

I don't like my wife, 'cause she's a stupid bitch 



Saw her banging the postman

Saw her doing the milkman too 

Saw her play with the gardeners nozzle

Then she did the construction crew



Went to the garden shed to get my pruning sheers

I don't have a hedge problem I'm gonna cut off her ears

I've seen her without me having way too much fun 

When I get home tonight, I'm not gonna say I love you hun



Saw her banging Winnie the Pooh 

Whilst fondling Tigger too 

She had a threesome with Aladdin 

And his stupid monkey Abu



Saw her banging the postman

Saw her doing the milkman too 

Saw her play with the gardeners nozzle

Then she did the construction crew