If I had a fine white horse
I'd take you for a ride today
But since I have no fine white horse
Inside I'll have to stay
And empty all the chamber-pots
And scrub the floors and such
For what's there to do on a fine white horse?
It seems to me, not much

If I had a wooden boat
I'd take you for a sail today
But since I have no wooden boat
Inside I'll have to stay
And catch and kill the mice
And pluck the chickens for the cook
But what's there to do in a wooden boat
But sit up straight and look?

And worry our boat will start to drift
And float us out to sea
And land us on an isle of gold
Oh dear, oh dearie me

If I had a chambermaid
I'd take you out to play today
They say that there's a maze
Where once you enter, there you stay

For certain, we'd get lost
And they'd come looking for our bones
And find us sometime late next week
And bring us tea and scones

But what if there's a clan of trolls a'campin' 'neath a tree?
Oh, what if there's a pirate's cave?
Oh dear, oh dearie me

If I wasn't so afraid
I'd take you out the door today
But talking birds and tales of faeries
Keep me scared away
And yes, I promised not to tell
What else is there, although?
If in the maze, you chance to see
A garden guarded by a tree
And meet a bird who speaks to me
Then come and tell my fine white horse and me!