Ho Ho Ho woke up this morning with a scary feeling

Realized it was November first

Christmas oh my god its nearing

What am I to do I said

Then I covered up my head

Prayed for sleep for two more months intill this holy mess is over

Wasn't that lucky I turned on the TV

Beanie Babies on the news

Biggest selling gift this year

What's a tired Jew to do?

So TV off, Try to escape, Called my Friend from Silver lake

Said to meet on Fairfax for some some coffee and a cougal



Talk about our fear and dread of tinsel lights and parties

Suddenly like a bad dream

Fairfax was transformed into a holiday paradise everywhere was Hanukah

Shiny Sparkly blue and white isn't this a little soon

I got up quick ran to the mall

Before my pain got any worse

What a stupid thing to do

I'm a sitting duck in Santa's zoo

Suddenly I couldn?t walk

I couldn?t breath I couldn?t move

Children running everywhere

Screaming tis this season



Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I think Ill miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I think Ill miss this one this year



Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I think Ill miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I think Ill miss this one this year



December first the pains have gone

Thought about Adams Hanukah song

He forgot to mention me

Thats ok his song was better

Photograph on Santa's lap

Now over my fear of shopping

Bought gifts for all my goiant friends

One for each, not eight

Sorting cards from all my friends

Sweet of them to take the time

One pile for all the Christmas cards from friends who just don?t get it yet

Hanukkah day on overload I just cannot stop eating

I have so many lackey that my tush is going to explode



All I walk it off and so I walk to the Kabala Center just to kill some time I

thought I spotted Madonna

Christmas Day Hanukkahs done

Woke up feeling funny

Maybe its cuz I lost half my hair and I have spent all of my money

Whats a Jew to do today?

LA is a ghost town

Looks just like another year of movies and Chinese food

Then suddenly I laughed and laughed and caught on to that was happening

Christmas magic brought this tale to a very happy ending



Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

I couldnt miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I couldnt miss this one this year



Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I couldnt miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I couldnt miss this one this year