Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, 

Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants; 

I'm here before you to stand behind you 

To tell you something I know nothing about... 

Next Thursday, which is Good Friday 

There's a women's meeting for men only. 

Free admission, pay at the door, 

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor. 

It's a long crawl back to the garden 

So get me off my hands and knees 

'Cause the church keeps spittin' me out 

Now we all know where they're comin' from... 

We just don't know where they're goin'. 

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha; 

Hari Krishna, I am a Jew. 

I am Satan, have Zen within me; 

I have Jesus. I am human. 

We got the same guy every time 

In a brand new clever disguise 

So before you go and make up your mind... 

If Christ came knocking on your door, 

Dressed up like the devil, would ya let him in? 

Would ya let him in, 

Would ya let him in, 

Would ya let him in? 

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha; 

Hari Krishna, I am a Jew. 

I am Satan, have Zen within me; 

I have Jesus, I am human. 

I am Hindu, I am Sheikh; 

I am Muslim, I'm an Atheist. 

I have Satan, I am Christian; 

I am Buddha, I am human, human, I am human 

I hope this ain't the wrong direction 

'Cause it all feels exactly the same 

And it's gonna getcha where you're going 

So enjoy the ride and don't get hooked; 

They're all the same temptations. 

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha; 

Hari Krishna, I am a Jew. 

I am Satan, have Zen within me; 

I have Jesus, I am human. 

I am Hindu, I am Sheikh; 

I am Muslim, I'm an Atheist. 

I have Satan, I am Christian; 

I am Buddha, I am human, human, I am human 

I am human, human, human, human.