Dashing through the snow



I hate fuckin' christmas

Seems like it's one big "have to do"

Seems like everybody that you meet on the street

Has been singin "halle-fuckin'-lujah"

Well, the mistletoe on the ceiling really

Makes me wanna do ya



Christmas it's so hard to find cocaine

Now it seems I can't get outta bed

All those dickheads in their white shirts on my T.V.

Singin' "Please don't drink and drive"

Well, that's pretty good advice

'Cause ya just might spill your drink



Christmas, it's the time for stealing presents

Out from underneath your neighbor's tree

Look's like little Johnny just won't get his

Teeneage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Well, I'd better wear a rubber

'Cause that turtle might be fertile



Today I think I'll screw my brother's girlfriend

All he ever does is go to work

When he goes downtown to buy the

Dead bird, who's the fuckin' turkey?

I hate fuckin' christmas