I was down at my favorite watering hole 

with a buddy of mine that was out on parole 

and we were flipping through the jukebox, 

talking how wed been and how we are.


Well hed got a library card and hed pierced his tongue 

And a buddy in prison had turned him onto Neil Young

And he thought itd be best to play some for the entire bar.


Now he didnt know it but while he was in Jail

Id had my heart broke by a woman to wondrous to tell

And wed fallen in love to half the songs that jukebox played


So when he flattened his dollar on the side of the machine 

and I saw comes a time come on the karaoke screen

Id realized there was a few things I had forgot to say:


Dont play Neil Young

Dont play Van Morrison

Just let some high school emo band start versing and chorusing

Because theres no way it will break my heart as far as I can see

And thats why modern radio is A OK with me.


(Over the sound of the bar noise my friend looked at me and said):


He said a pop song used to be a powerful thing, 

you could turn on the am and John Lennon would sing

or Frank Sinatra would speak to all of the girls.


And you could think like a hawk or think like a dove 

or think of a winter afternoon when you fell in love and 

Ten songs on a record sounded like a string of pearls. 


Now my buddy rattled on till an hour had passed

And I thought about shoving his head through the front door glass

And leaving him for dead, but a friend is a friend to stay.


So I listened to him talk about Johnny and June 

And how true love goes from midnight to noon

I bought another round just in time to hear him say:


They dont play Sam Cooke

They dont play John Cash

They let some high school emo band play the prettiest trash

And theres no way it can break my heart as far as I can see 

And thats why modern radio is a sack of monkeys to me.



He said it makes me so mad I want to get out and shout it

And I smiled and said I hadnt thought that much about it

and we walked out the street and parted ways


I mightve gone to a movie, but my money was spent 

so I went on home, the Lord knows where he went

and wrote and open letter to all modern djs

(saying)


Dont play Bob Dylan

Dont play the Bends

Dont play anybody thats ever heard Sir Patrick Spens

Because broken hearted people are looking for a little something to ignore

And that is why modern radio is better than ever before

And that is why modern radio is better than ever before