Here we are in court today
Rose just took the stand
She's divorcin' me for reasons
I still don't understand
That dress is showin' more of her
Than I've seen in years
And the story that she's tellin's
Even got the judge in tears
She's accusin' me of hangin' out
With girls of ill repute
Adultery, abandonment
Even alcohol abuse
I just heard my mother shout
Your Honour throw the book
And even my attorney
Just gave me a dirty look
Everything's comin up Roses
The house, the car, the kids and all the cash
Everything's comin up Roses
And I'll be lucky if I keep the shirt that's on my back
My head is buried in my hands
The courtroom is adjourned
She got all I ever made
And all I'll ever earn
If I had a handkerchief
I'd break right down and cry-y
Why, even Johnny Carson
Got a better deal than mine
Everything's comin up Roses
The house, the car, the kids and all the cash
Everything's comin up Roses
And I'll be lucky if I keep the shirt that's on my back
Everything's comin up Roses
And I'll be lucky if I keep the shirt that's on my back