I don't like poodles and potpourri 

Pastel colors ain't good on me  

I need a woman that I can squeeze

These are the things that I believe



I like John Wayne and overalls

Hate chick flicks and shopping malls

I thank God that I've got balls

A pickup truck, a texas drawl



I don't like flowers and fancy wine

Or talking on that phone all the time

I don't like nothing near my behind

It's an exit, it suits me fine



Oh, these are all those reasons I ainit queer

(These are all the reasons he ain't queer)



I think two holes are better than one 

If you ask me thats more fun

In 'n' out and then I'm done

Two guys kissing would make me run



I don't like sex on a fufu bed

Don't want to dance with a guy name Fred

I did it once and my face turned red

You saw the tape...enoughs been said



All my buddies we like to drink

Watching fights at the hockey rink

You won't catch me wearing pink

I like the fact that my dick don't stink



Oh, these are all the reasons I ain't queer

Don't be poking nothing near my rear, yeah

These are all the reasons

The crazy cuckoo reasons

These are all those reasons I ain't queer