Thought I was lookin' good
 So I cycled 'cross the neighbourhood
 Was invited by a skinny girl
 Into her high class world

 Left my bicycle under the stairs
 Laid my coat across the kosher chairs
 Made my way across the crowded room
 I had nothing to lose

 My reception wasn't very keen
 So turning on a friendly grin,
 Stood on the table with my glass of gin
 And came straight to the point

 I was glad to come
 I'll be sad to go
 So while I'm here
 I'll have me a real good time

 I was glad to come
 I'll be sad to go
 So while I'm here
 I'll have me a real good time. Oh no

 Dancin' madly 'round the room, yeah
 Singing loudly and sorta' out of tune
 Was escorted by a friendly slag
 'Round the ... back

 Wandered c-c-cross ...
 Missed my step and I fell on the floor.
 Said one word and was asked to leave
 Kinda' wish I was dead.

 I was glad to come
 And I'll be so sad to leave,
 But while I was here
 I had me a real good time, oooh.

 The skinny girl made it clear,
 That she only came here for the beer - that's a fact, oh yeah
 The vicar he simply reeked of gin - good God

 On my way home I happened to fall off my bicycle, good party
 Ooh hoo, ha ha, yeah

 I was glad to come, but I was also glad to get home, yeah
 Ooh hoo
 Hoo, get in there
 Ooh hoo
 [bark