Blame it all on Artoo 
Said the girl from Naboo 
'Cause I followed him into that bar 
A couple of drinks 
And soon Jar Jar Binks 
Was the best thing 'bout Star Wars so far 

I had blue milk and Jack 
With this guy dressed in black 
He was strong, dark, and seven-foot-three 
But when I went home with 
The Lord of the Sith 
That's not all that went home with me! 

'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader 
When he took me back to his star freighter 
And used the Force 
On me, of course 
But now I itch like a Tusken Raider 
Shoulda never played with his light saber! 
Oh, I got crabs 
From Darth Vader! 

She said, I got a butt 
Like Jabba the Hutt 
But Darth said he'd love to clone me 
He's not bad at nookie - 
He roared like a Wookiee 
Through episodes one, two, and three 

But at double-sunrise 
He grabbed his disguise 
And dumped me in Tatooine's sand 
Hope that freak went to bake 
In that big lava lake 
That's my last one-Jedi-Knight stand! 

'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader 
When I got too close to that dictator 
He said, I'll get you 
And Lei-ya too 
I love that sound from his respirator 
But now I need an exterminator! 
'Cause I got crabs 
From Darth Vader! 

All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along: 

I got crabs from Darth Vader 
When he took me back to his star freighter 
And used the Force 
On me, of course 
But now I itch like a Tusken Raider 
Shoulda never played with his light saber! 
Oh, I got crabs 
From Darth Vader!