It?s been five years come this autumn, she remembers well the day
The day the fever got him and took him far away
Far away from always knowing that the love they shared was true
Far away the fiddler?s bowing, the grass forever blue
It was in the dead of winter when her man first caught the chill
And he said he heard the angels singing, "Cabin on the Hill"
Through the springtime he was groaning
"The good times are past and gone"
By the summer she was moaning, "Old lover please come home"
Now she stands out in the midnight, in the moonlight all aglow
She prays to Carter Stanley, "Won?t you please tell Bill Monroe
Rather be in some dark hollow or some dark deep shady grove
Than to be a bluegrass widow"
I started listening to bluegrass music
In Bryan Duckworth?s rust red 1970 Ford Maverick
Had an eight track tape deck
And an eight track tape of Bill Monroe?s Greatest Hits
We used to skip second period chemistry
Go over to the Shamrock station across the street
From the high school and get a case of Texas Pride beer
Charge it on my dad?s credit card
And get ?em to write it up as oil so dad never knew the difference
Then we?d ride around and drink Texas Pride
Listen to Bill Monroe, soon we got to be bluegrass experts
And we?d stop in another Shamrock station
And get another Texas Pride case
Drink that and listen to the Stanley Brothers
And then we?d go get a tape of Jim and Jesse
And it was on to the Kentucky Colonels
And Mack Wiseman and the New Grass Revival, Peter Rowan
And finally I got the brilliant idea one day
To take all the greatest bluegrass song titles in the world
And string ?em together to make this song right here
'The Bluegrass Widow'
Quite possibly the worst bluegrass song ever written
I did this in tribute to the Front Porch Boys
Which was a bluegrass band, I was in, in College Station, Texas
We were a little four piece band
We played weddings and parties and out on the porch and beer joints
And one weekend on a handful of cheap amphetamines
We decided to go to Crockett, Texas
We entered the International Bluegrass Band Competition
And took second place
We could play faster than anybody in the competition
The other two bands took first and third, respectively
I met some friends and went off into the night
Separated from the Front Porch Boys and met back up with them
In the cold, gray light of dawn, as the bluegrass songs say
They were standing underneath a giant pine tree there
In Crockett singing the rudest, most grotesque
Nastiest bluegrass songs you've ever heard in your life
I?m talking about the kind of song
Where not only is the character in the song
Dead by the end of the song but he?s been dismembered as well
And the Front Porch Boys stopped
And looked up at me just long enough to say
"We?re taking bluegrass music where it?s never been before
And we?re not taking you with us
?Cuz you don?t have that high and lonesome sound
That bluegrass music requires"
Well, I?m not one to fight failure, I packed up my stuff and left
The Front Porch Boys broke up three days later
When they realized I owned the PA system
"Will you miss me when I?m gone?" were his final words to her
"Darlin? think of what you?ve done," then replied his Knoxville girl
And the leaves had started turning when his mind began to fail
Then he broke down in a breakdown, now she wears a long black veil
And she stands out in the midnight in the moonlight all aglow
She prays to Carter Stanley, "Won?t you please tell Bill Monroe
Rather be in some dark hollow or some dark deep shady grove
Than to be a bluegrass widow"
And she stands out in the midnight in the moonlight all aglow
She prays to Carter Stanley, "Won?t you please tell Bill Monroe
Rather be in some dark hollow or some dark deep shady grove
Than to be a bluegrass widow"