Have you heard? 
The coast of Maine just got caught in a hurricane?
Well did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!

Have you heard that poor dear 
Blanche got run down by an avalanche?
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!

What daiquiris! 
What sherry, please! 
What burgundy! 
What pommery!

Have you heard? 
Professor Munch ate his wife and divorced his lunch?
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!

Missus Smith in her new 
Hup crossed the bridge when the bridge was up,
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell part this is!

What brandy, wow! 
What whiskey, here's how!
What gin and what beer, 
will you sober up, dear?