I smoked Consulate and Park Drive
Drank Newcy Brown, learned how to skive
Polo mints to hide my breath from my Mum
Did a little weed 'cause it felt like fun

Did a little speed if my friends had some
Nicked Volkswagon badges, I'm a Beastie Boys son
Me so horny, me so young
And I still get my washing done

Auntie Jo died of cancer
God didn't have an answer
Rhythm was a dancer
Any room for a chancer, that's me in the corner, thanks sir

Wore a Troop track suits, British Knights shoes
Kangol hat like L.L. Cools
Before I was having it, having it large
They nicked the B.M.X. from out my garage

Knew it was Tire from off the estate
'Cause every time I saw him he smiled like we were mates
From then on in, I'd have to walk to me Nan's
And I'll dream my dreams for a sea of prams

Like a hooligan on the football stands
And I threw the V's to Leeds and West Ham
And then I ran, I ran so far away
Down Scotia Road to a taxi bay

Then I ran again 'cause I couldn't pay
Young Muslim didn't get his fare that day
I apologize today

Things look better when they start
That's how the 80's broke my heart

And who are you calling poof
You like Wham, man, I hate that stuff
And then my Granddad died and left a hole in the family
And lots of women there to nanny me

School was a laugh, they didn't have A.D.D
Thick was the term they used for me
Over and over, repeatedly
Over and over

Take my breathe away
Pass the bidley bidley bidley bidley bong
Pass it on the left hand side
Right turn, Clyde

That girl in the fourth year got pregnant
She was raised Catholic, brilliant
I cried, she cried, we cried
Her youth died

Drank cider in the cemetery
The year above us had discovered 'E'
And I said it weren't for me, twelve pounds fifty
I could rob my mum's purse and buy one off Chalky

Met a girl on Monday, drank fizzy pop on Tuesday
Fingered her on Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday, and on Saturday
Dumped by Sunday

Things look better when they start
That's how the 80's broke my heart
The wonder years I've played my part
That's how the 80's broke my heart

I lost my virginity to a girl called Anne-Marie
Well, she said she fancied me
And then she said, "Fuck me" and I thought fuck me
And I'm all talk and it'll be over too quickly

And it was but I couldn't care less
I'd seen a girl's part, made a mess on her dress
Oh yes, you're now rocking with the best
Second person in my year that had seen a breast

I'm in my 30's now and I'm still impressed
Why the Falklands Mum, and what have they done
Where do girls come
Where do girls come from, where do girls come from?

It's the 80's what you looking at you mong
So young, so long
So young
So long

Too short
So long
What you looking at, you mong
Too short
So long
Too short, so long
So long