A man should call the toss

Wear the pants, and be the boss

A man should be the drake

For his own damn sake



And men should the misters

And the masters of their sisters

A man should be the reason

For a heart to break



A man should cut the lawn

Change the tire, mend the worn

A man should never wait

To oil a rusting gate



Men should hold the key positions

In our country's great traditions

A man should put the food

Upon the family plate



So, be moral

Don't quarrel

Fair and square is best



Let me alert you

That virtue won't hurt you

Or desert you

If you wear hair on your chest 



So always remember to follow the rules 

Box clever 

And jocks never 

Hock another jock's tools 



A man should wax a car

Fix a fuse, and tend the bar

A man should like his brow

To be wet with sweat



Men should know the right occasions

To indulge in tax evasions

A man should know the settings

That his spark plugs get



Faggots are maggots

Thank God I'm a man