Dear blender

Oh won't you help a first offender

Oh, toaster

Don't you put the burn on me

Refrigerator, why are we always sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night



Dear knife drawer

Now won't you help me to face life more

Oh, trashcan

Don't you put the dirt on me

Oh percolator, why are we always sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night



Everything used to be OK

But I've been had

And Brad, I'm glad to say, is on his way

Micro-digital awaker, why are we always sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night



Shower curtain

Oh won't you help me to be certain

Oh, toothpaste

Don't you put the squeeze on me

Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night



Tell me spectator, why are always sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night!