[Verse 1]

Somewhere below the Grand Hotel

There is a tunnel that leads down to hell

Take the dumbwaiter, the laundry chute

Then sneak through the hall past the boy's shining boots

Turn left at the courtyard, through the old garden

Where all the bellhops smoke with the guards

And then you run to the old lake house

Down to the old lake house

Run to the old lake house where it begins



[Verse 2]

Under the floorboards there's a deep well

That leads to a spring that sprung up in hell

That's where old devils danced and kissed

And made their blood pacts in the ancient myths

And running through forest they screamed in chorus

While piercing fair maidens' chests with their horns

And then they lay in the grass 'til the dawn came

Sleeping away 'til the dawn came

Lay in the grass where now stands the Grand Hotel

[Verse 3]

The maître d' and a fancy chef

Silver's real, the liquor's top shelf

Play some tennis, swim in a pool

Stroll the garden, shady and cool

You won't care that the devils

Won't mind that the devils

Won't know that the devils are near



[Verse 4]

Somewhere below the grand hotel

There is a tunnel that leads straight to hell

But no one comes up for the souls anymore

They come for some comfort and for the dance floor

And hiding sharp horns under fedoras

Do not disturb signs instead of a chorus

They toss and turn 'til the dawn comes

On soft sheets 'til the dawn comes

No one sleeps at the grand hotel



[Verse 5]

Room service, mini-bar

Scented soaps, chauffeured cars

Stay a day, stay a week

Here's the tunnel, take a peek

Just call up your friends at the front desk

Any hour at the front desk

Call up your friends at the Grand Hotel

You'll always have friends at the Grand Hotel