Somewhere far away where I roam 
There live my buffalo twin in our twin buffalo home 
He calls me by my native name 
And takes good care of my native son 
He even lets us drink spring water on Sundays 2.99 a gallon 

And somewhere further down the road where I also roam 
There lives my caterpillar cousin beneath a fancy engraved tomb head stone 
In the middle of his southern town 
Beneath a cemetery burial plot 
He don't pay rent no more 
But he sure likes the spot 

But in the furthest place I've ever known 
Where even I so rarely roam 
There lives a boy who just come back from war 
His flesh was wounded but he made it back home 
His mother calls him by his given name 
And the neighbors whisper how he prefers to be alone 
And he gets nightmares about boys dripping blood sold for 2.99 a gallon 

But when I get me all real tired 
And I got no more strength to roam 
I catch me a horse driven carriage ride 
From a local man named Ethan Frome 
He don't say much as he tips his hat 
And he carries his body as heavy as lead 
And he could have been flying through the snow on his sled
But he wife was in bed and the horses had to be fed 
Besides it's 2.99 a story 
Pay up it's just 2.99 a story... 
2.99 a gallon