Our phone are open for all you high motherfuckers
 At 1 800 DIKINYABOOTY
 [Redman] Welcome
 That's 1 800 dick in ya boo tay!!
 [Redman] Welcome

 *ringing phone is answered*
 Aiyyo this is Mad Duke callin from Da Bricks
 I'm on the block with Uncle Quilly and Leroy Sweetdick
 gettin my smoke on  for you onionhead motherfuckers

 Hi this K Spark from the Al Parks  dammmn!

 Welcome to another nineteen ninety-six Funk Doctor Spock tape
 As we take y'all minds on another journey, through the darkside
 We uplift you! Def Squad force comin through with the ruckus
 Jammin for all knotty-headed peasy motherfuckers, ahh
 And for funky bitches, we got a funky thing for you

 I said I gets down like that, who am I (Funk Doctor)
 (as I kiss the sky)
 I said I gets down like that, who am I (Funk Doctor)
 (as I kiss the sky)

 Bomb troll, funkier than Haitian underarms
 Represent Jersey, the land of firearms
 Hotwired cars, emptying cigars
 Afros, mofo's, on knees with momo's
 It's nasty as I come my shit be douche
 I used to be the chief instructor for Bruce
 Choose your weapon -- A FATALITY
 Line your crew up now -- BABALITY
 In nineteen ninety-six bitch ass niggaz all in my mix
 On some rah rah shit, get my rah rah dick!
 Nuts alert, first sound de alarm on de expert
 My network, operate sharper than a Gilette works
 Off the corner style Blinds in Knightening Armor
 About more Facts of Life than Tudy or Blair Warner
 Chi-Town where you at (we got your back)
 D.C. where you at (we got your back)
 My crew Come Strapped like MC Eiht with nickel plates
 Gettin mad Dead Presidents ask Lorenzo Tate
 Ahh, gettin loot rollin craps in the yard
 Can't be scarred by media, SO FUCK THE MEDIA
 Most MC's are terrible, unbearable
 Couldn't get stupid if you were sliced cerebral
 Ahh no need to... act like he's shittin
 Man you're funnier than Ed Griffith, it's Red's kitchen
 My infrared's missin, damn I'm slippin
 I'm out of ammo, yo Crossbreed, stick the clip in