Born in the town of Scranton, PA, 

Down the street from the church of Saint Ann. 

Raised in West Side by the Sunoco Street, 

Family had the land since 1833 

Tater, Tater Salad Growin up in West Side 



When he turned 13, went to Hannan

addin' mock trial to Willie Martin's woes

Now, club destroyin is just something he does,

like Political Science one year before

Tater, Tater Salad, playin on the tennis team!



All through the years we're moving along

swinging from the pipes in computer class.

Joining the Leaguers and playin for Pell

He's a lot like Smitty but twice as nuts

Tater, Tater Salad, put Jared through a wall!



He went into the gym just to pass some time, 

Kicked a basketball till it went in the hoop. 

And while he was handling this crazy chore, 

Pissed off John Bucci, forevermore. 

Tater, Tater Salad also known as Sunokes.



He got up one morn' and he made some toast

then a seagull flew bay and snatched it away

An' the rest of his day he took a stand

to execute that seagull who stole his toast

Tater, Tater Salad killing defenseless birds



He went off to college right up the street

Threatened a professor for a better grade. 

Claimed himself a bench right under a tree, 

Won't use punctuation because it is dumb. 

Tater, Tater Salad. Wants to get a degree. 



When he comes home, his classes done, 

Hears his Dad yellin bout some crazy stuff. 

So he heads somewhere to tune him out 

And knows the kitchen light will never turn off. 

Tater, Tater Salad. Goin for a stroll. 



He calls up Bindo with nothing to do

Up to the Wal Mart they just got to go

Seein the carts now they know what to do

Play soccer with them, using a car

Tater, Tater Salad, also known as Spud.



Came in from Leaguers and he saw the couch 

Shields was sitting in his favorite spot 

So he reared back the bat and swung with some might 

Now Shields is in pain on the playroom floor

Tater, Tater Salad. Craziest clown I know.