Streak
Ray Stevens

(

[sound of wire-service telegraphy]

SPOKEN: Hello, ev'ryone,  This is your Action News reporter
with all the news that is news across the nation on the scene
at the supermarket.  There seems to have been some disturbance here.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. I's standin' over there by the tomaters
and here he comes-runnin' through the pole beans, through
the fruits ''n' vegetables, nekked as a jaybird.
'n' I hollered over t'Ethel,
I said "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!" 'n' it's too late-
she'd already been INcensed.

(Here he comes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(There he goes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(And he ain't wearin' no clothes)

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
Fastest thing on two feet
Looka dat, looka dat
He's just as proud as he can be of his anatomy
He gun give us a peek
Oh, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He likes to show off his physique
(Looka dat, looka dat)
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' A-round invitin' public critique ["zipppp" kazoo sound]

SPOKEN: This is your Action News reporter once again
and we're here at the gas station.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did.  I's just in here gettin' my tawres checked
'n' he just appeared outta the back.  Come streakin' around
the grease rack there-didn't have nuthin on but a smile!!
I looked at her and Ethel was gettin' 'er a cold drink.  I
hollered "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!"  But it's too late-she'd
already been MOONED!!  Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers!!

(He ain't crude)
(Looka dat, looka dat)
(He ain't rude)
(Looka dat, looka dat)
(He's just in the mood to run in the nude)

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He likes to turn other cheek
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He's always makin' the news wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique ["zipppp" kazoo sound]

[sound of wire-service telegraphy]

SPOKEN: Once again, your Action News reporter in the booth
at the gym covering the disturbance at the basketball playoff.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. Halftime, I's just goin' down there
to get Ethel a snow cone.  Here he come, right outta the cheap seats, dribblin'.
Right down the middle of the floor.
Didn't have on nothin' but his Keds!
Made a hook shot and got out through the concession stand.
I hollered up at Ethel, I said "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!"..
Too late.  She'd already gotten a free shot.  Grandstand.
Right there in front of the home team.

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]

CLOSING: Not totally decipherable because 3 things are going on at once.
Ray is singing a verse and the backup singers are doing (Looka dat, looka dat)
while Ray, on an overlaid track is speaking [Fastest thing on two feet]
"Ethel! Is that you Ethel?  [He's just as proud as he can be]
What do [of his anatomy] you think you're doin? [He gonna give us a peek]
You get your clothes on !!" Whoa, yes they call him The Streak ["zipppp" kazoo sound]
"Ethel, where you goin'?  [He likes to show off his physique]   Ethel, you
shameless hussy!!"  [If there's an audience to be found, he'll be streakin' A-round
invitin' public critique]  Say it isn't SO, Ethel!!

FADE