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 Well, there once was a feller named Willard McVane
 And he only had just one thought on his brain
 Every evening 'round midnight he'd sneak off alone
 And call the same lady on a pay telephone

 "It's me again, Margaret...
 [very evil laughter]
 are you there, Margaret?
 I know... I know it's you, Margaret...
 You don't know me, Margaret, but I know you."

 Well, this upset the lady and it gave her the blues
 So she called up the police, said "What do I do?"
 The Chief of Detectives came round to her home
 And eavesdropped upon them on her upstairs phone

 "It's me again, Margaret...
 [very evil laughter]
 are you naked?
 [more very evil laughter]"

 Well, they called up Ma Bell and they traced him on down
 To a funky old phone booth on the outskirts of town
 It was there that the Vice Squad with their field glasses read
 The lips of that amorous man as he said

 "It's me again, Margaret...
 [very evil laughter]
 hello?  Is this Margaret?
 Bet you can't guess what I'm doing..."

 Well, they cuffed him and they dragged him to the jailhouse downtown
 And they allowed him one phone call 'fore the jailer came round
 Well, he wet his chapped lips and he cleared his young throat
 And he dialed up the number and softly he spoke

 "It's me again, Margaret...
 [very evil laughter]
 They got me, Margaret.
 You won't miss me, Margaret, but I'll miss you... hoo hoo
 [degenerates into even more evil laughter]
 And when I get out I'll come over and we'll have a party
 and I'll bring a live chicken.. and some peach preserves!
 Oh, we'll have a real good time