Well, I’ve been swinging through these swinging doors for, aww,

goin’ on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10 

And I watch old Joe at the end of the bar with another hot woman

on his one good arm and they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin’, again 

So I finally had to ask old Joe,

“Man, what’s your secret to success, your power of persuasion over the opposite sex” 

And he says, “Son, well, honestly, it’s pretty simple.”

He said, “I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink and open up my mouth and… 



Lie I tell her I’m a movie star 

I just flew into town to buy this bar 

I’m only here tonight, that’s right 

I gotta go, yeah, we’re filming on location down in Mexico 

Would you believe that I got the leading role? 

That’s right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you’d probably know.” 

Oh, a man has got to do what a man’s gotta do 

Anything it takes to make her think you’re cool 

Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try 

Just walk right up and smile and look her dead in the eye 

And lie 

That’s right lie 

So I tried and tried a couple weekends and

it was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again 

But I narrowed it down, and I scratched it out, and I came up with something 

that without a doubt I knew, I was gonna make old Joe proud 

And I go up and I’d say 

Hi Honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life 

I’ve been waiting such a long, long time 

And you know what honey? 

Meetin’ you here, man, it just really feels like fate 

Oh I, I bet you didn’t see me as a marrying type 

Let’s take it slow I don’t just want one night, oh no darlin’ 

If you’re looking for that you might as well look somewhere else 

Well, because I’m just not that kind of guy



And 

kids, oh I love kids 

Dogs, in-laws, and a piece of land 

Dirty diapers in my mini van 

Aw man, I can hardly wait 



Oh a man has got to do what a man’s gotta do 

Anything it takes to make her think you’re cool 

Aw, you got nothin’ to lose so go on and try 

Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye 

You know what you got to do, lie 

That’s right you gotta lie 

Sometimes you gotta lie