Woke up this mornin', I couldn't find the doorknob
I tripped over the bedpost and I hit my head
I got a revelation, it struck me as funny
My baby wasn't near me, and neither was my money!

  Is this what I live for?
  Cheap thrills and deceit
  but what the HELL is that smell?
  I think I'll go brush my teeth!

I feel a little moisture in between my Jockeys
I jump into the shower and I cleanse myself
I feel a little hungry, so I eat a bowl of cornflakes
I turn on the network, oh shit! There's been another earthquake!!

  Is this what I live for?
  To go down with the ship?
  It's almost time for the Jetsons
  I think I'll go smoke that ...

  Sally wants to be a rich girl
  She wants a part on TV
  Sally wants to be a rich girl
  she don't want to depend on me

But I gave her all my love and I gave her all my time
And ever since she walked out the door the girl is always on my mind
I never had enough to buy her pearls or even diamond rings
I never had any money to buy her any of those things

  I need the money
  To make her happy
  I need the money
  To make her mine
  I need the money
  To make her happy
  I need the money
  To make her mine

  Sally wants to be a rich girl
  she don't want to depend on me
  Sally wants to be a rich girl

When the earth stopped shakin' I heard the doorbell ringin'
I looked out through the peephole and it was only the mailman
He wants to give me a letter, it wasn't very funny
My rich uncle just croaked, but he left me all that money!

  Is this what I live for?
  To live life like a king?
  Hey - that might be Sally on the phone right now -
  I think I'll just let it ring!!

Oh Mighty Jesus!

  Sally girl was walkin' down the street without a care
  walkin' home with any guy she meets anywhere
  Besides, your little game really wasn't very clever
  next time, Sally, you should think it out better!

Oh honey!
All that money!
Oh honey!
All that money!
I'm rich!
I'm rich!
I'm rich, ain't that a bitch