Who wants to be a part of 

The coupled heterosexual masses 

I mean when you can have such fun 

Telling lies and pinching asses? 


Praise be the bars where the lonely meet 

And for awhile can feel the heat 

Praise to the liquor that warms our heads 

Gives us the courage 

To get things said 


Loosens our tongues 

And for awhile 

You might even make 

Each other smile 


Praise be the bars where the lonely meet 

And for a time can feel the heat 

Praise to the liquor that warms our heads 

Give us the courage 

To get things said 


Loosens our tongues 

And for awhile 

Well, you might even make each other smile