Well, I smoked this thing one night out as a bet
And they told me it was kinda like a funky cigarette
And I can still remember my first draw
And all those funny things I saw when I smoked my first funky cigarette

Well, I opened up my best friends biscuit tin
And there's no Rich Teas or Custard Creams, just cigarettes and skins
And then he handed me a pack of green and the biggest bag I've ever seen 
And I rolled my first funky cigarette

And since that day I seldom have declined
And I maintain this love affair with these green herbs of mine
You can keep your pills and trips and lines, expensive beers and fancy wines 
'Cos I just want a funky cigarette

And nowadays it's harder to disguise
Then wondering old sedated look that glazed across my eyes
Well, if you're like me I'm sure you'll find that you don't really seem to mind
'Cos you just had a funky cigarette