On the wedding anniversary 

Of the Johnson's 

They went out on a date. 

Little Jimmy had strict orders 

To be in bed, to be in bed by eight. 

But little Jimmy knew they'd be late, 

And he liked TV, he thought it was great 

He's not alone 

Turning channels, Jimmy faltered 

After hearing what he thought might have been 

Creepy chuckles, scary breathing, 

And the sounds of metal s-s-s-s-scraping on wood. 

Hired by the Johnson's that day 

He's professional 

And likes things his way 

Or not at all 

He's for hire 

The man upstairs 

He'll take care of you. 

Jimmy grabbed the phone receiver, 

Called the fuzz up 

While he peed in his pants 

Down the staircase 

In the next room 

Here he comes, kid, 

Hatchet clutched in his hands. 

Jimmy trembled and crept through the dark 

Into the kitchen 

Where all the knives are 

He's not alone 

Here comes the man 

He's for hire 

The man upstairs 

He'll take care of you. 

Can't trust Mom, can't trust Dad, 

What do you do when your folks go bad?The man upstairs watched in terror 

As Jimmy with a knife came flying through the air 

Red light, blue light, cops burst in 

They put a bunch of guns into their hands and then 

The cops said “Freeze! You better stop now! 

You better stop now or you're gonna be dead, yeah.” 

And they pumped little Jimmy full of lead 

‘Cause they thought he was crazy in the head 

And after that they heard a voice that said: 

“I'm the man upstairs, I'm the man upstairs.” 

He's the man upstairs, he's the man, he's the man upstairs.