Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The captain of the lugger
Was known as a filthy bugger
Declared unfit to shovel grit
From one ship to another

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The cabin boys name was Chipper
A Randy little nipper
He made a pass with a broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The first mate's name was Morgan
By gosh, he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played 'til late
Upon the captain's organ

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The captain's wife was Charlotte
Born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The captain's daughter, Mabel
Though young, was fresh and able
To fornicate with the second mate
Upon the chartroom table

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The captain's youngest daughter
Was washed into the water
Her plaintive squeals announced that eels
Had found her sexual quarter

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

The ship's dog's name was Rover
We turned that poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus

And when we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk, in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
With a figurehead of a whore in bed
And a mast of a phallic genus