Nickelodeon
Nickelodeon - Better Than No One (Ren &; Stimpy) lyrics
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Ren: "Steempy! What's all that racket about?" Stimpy: "I'm tap-dancing, Ren! Pretty good, huh?" Ren: "Eet just sounds like noise to me! And you look even more stupeed than usual!" Stimpy: "Oh, pshaw! Tap-dancing is fun, Ren! Why don't you join me?" Ren: "Oh no, I'm no eediot." Stimpy: "Oh c'mon! No one will ever see you." Ren: "No way!" Stimpy: "Just put these shoes on, and move your feet..." Ren: "BACK OFF, MAN!! I can do it..." Stimpy: "Now, don't you feel better?" Ren: "Heeeey, thees eez fun! You're right, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you." Stimpy: "Think nothin' of it, buddy! Pal! It's really great to have a chum Who's kind and caring and lots of fun. He slaps me around when I feel blue; Only a pal would do that for you. His name is Ren And when it comes to a friend, No one is better. Your turn, pal!" Ren: Ah, okay, bud--AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! You eediot! If you're going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet!" Stimpy: "Whoops." Ren: "He's really fat, [Stimpy burps] but I admit," Stimpy: (What's that, Ren?) Ren: "He's not so dumb..." Stimpy: (Joy!) Ren: "...For an eediot! I hate the smell of his stinky leeter box And when he fills me to my stay-put socks. He's lost his mind But when I'm een a bind, He's better than no one. Would you wanna comb my hair?" Stimpy: "With glee!" Ren: "Would you shave my tongue?" Stimpy: "For free!" Ren: "Would you flense my spleen?" Stimpy: "Whoopee!" Both: "You're the friend for me!" Ren: "My friend to the end," Stimpy: (That's me! That's me!) Ren: "Which I hope is soon," Stimpy: (He hopes is soon!) Ren: "Has a head full of air" Stimpy: (A head full of air?) Ren: "Like a red balloon!" Stimpy: "A balloon-head? Wow! What a great thing to be! You always say the nicest things to me!" Ren: "You're a fool!" Stimpy: "But I think you're cool! No one is better. Would you tell me a story?" Ren: "No way!" Stimpy: "Would you pick my nose?" Ren: "For pay..." Stimpy: "Would you scratch my back?" Ren: "No!" Stimpy: "Pluck my brows?" Ren: "No!!" Stimpy: "Clean my box?" Ren: [screams] Stimpy: "Lick my fur?" Ren: "All right, Stimpy! THAT'S EET! I've had enough of your stUUUUpid questions! The answer is NO! No, I tell you! A thousand times, NOOOO!!!!" Stimpy: "Oh, just asking!" Ren: "We're opposites by nature." Stimpy: "He's a dog, and I-I'm a cat! I think." Ren: "But put us both together..." Stimpy: "And we're a purr-fect match!" Ren: "Shut up!" Stimpy: "Yes, sir! I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do!" Ren: "Aw, somebody's got to think for you. You may be a dud, But when I need a bud, You're better than no one." Stimpy: "No one is better!" Ren: "You're better than..." Stimpy: "No one is..." Ren: "Better than..." Stimpy: "No one..." Both: "No one... is better."