My cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin

Did she die from old age or was it for my sins 

God I loved her oh so much 

Miss her little kitty touch 

Does she miss me does she care 

Oh I miss her kitty stare 

Do you have a little time 

Would you like to ease my mind 

Talk for hours and never stop 

Chop your head off 

Be a lighter person 

Brighter person nicer 

But you've heard it all before 



[chorus]

So ding dong 

There's the doorbell hello man in white 

He's gonna make you all well 

Getcha through the night 

But hey now 

You don't feel better 

As you take your fresh bromide 

Maybe this man of letters lied 



Let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night 

You were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright 

I was walking down the street 

Downtown by the DMV 

You popped out behind a door 

It was odd you were on all fours 

Do you have some time to spare 

You were barking at a bear 

It said hey you'd better stop 

Chop your head off 

Be a lighter person 

Brighter person 

Nicer 

But you've heard it all before 



[chorus]

So ding dong 

There's the doorbell 

Hello man in red 

He's gonna make you all well 

Getcha into bed 

But hey now

You don't feel better 

As you wake and slowly rise 

Maybe this smooth jet-setter lied 



[instrumental break]



Stick around one minute more 

I'm smarter than you think 

Do I sound like an old bore 

Oh man it's just the drink 

I didn't always hit the gin 

There were times when I fit in

They'll never know how much I tried 

Did I tell you my cat died 

Do you have a little time 

Would you like to feel sublime 

Run away and never stop 

Chop your head off 

Be a lighter person 

Brighter person 

Nicer 

But you've heard it all before 



[chorus]

So ding dong 

There's the doorbell 

Hello man in black 

He's gonna make you all well 

There's no going back 

But hey now you don't feel better 

As you drift off in the tide 

Maybe this jack the ripper lied 

And you died