CB1:  Reproduction or what?
					CB2:  What did you say?
CB1:  What kind of production?
					CB2:  "There are all sorts of
					possibilities...you could do, you
					know, a little spoof on something...
		V1:  This is also nothing new.
CB1:  Yeah, get some stuff together,
no problem, y'know, depends on what
you do...
		A1 (Jack Armstrong):  C'mon, let's look...
					V2:  Journey?
W (The Weatherman):
Ha ha ha, ho...Oh, well...
					V3:  No, no, no, Uh-uh.
		C (Casey Kasem):  This
		is American Top Forty.
W:  I have climbed the highest mountains,
					CB2:  Uh, I believe that's
					the Weatherman there...
W:  And guess what?
	CB1:  Where ya at?
W:  I have run...through the fields...
only to be with you...yup, with you...
no one else, just you.
		C:  Here's the first Top 40 hit...
W:  And guess what?
		C:  ...for the Irish band from Dublin
		who call themselves U2...
W:  I have run, I have crawled,
I have scaled these city walls...
Yeah, that's really great, I can't
believe I did it, but nevertheless,
I have done that for you.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
W:  Only to be with you,
I've done all these things.
		C:  The f-
W:  Yeah, with you. The fat one,
that's it...
		C:  The f-
W:  You're the fat one,
and I wanna be with you...
					A1:  What's the matter?)
		C:  Can I say, why was
		it changed here?
W:  But on the other hand,
I still haven't found
what I'm looking for.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
					V3:  Maybe they'll make it
					as a junior U2.
W:  But on the other hand,
I still haven't found
what I'm looking for.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral...
					V3:  They say...
W:  Nope, definitely not.
		C:  ...two.
W:  I haven't found it.
					V3:  They say they're
					kinda like U2.
W:  I just can't seem
to find it.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
W:  Nope, definitely not,
I haven't found it.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
					A1:  C'mon.
W:  And here's what else I've done...
					A1:  C'mon, let's see
					what we can find.
W:  I have kissed honey lips,
felt the healing in her fingertips.
I've even done that.
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
W:  While I was doing that--
y'know, all the kissing on
the honey lips?--
it burned like fire, and it
reminded me of cheap, melting
plastic--the kind that makes little
clouds of white vapo-gas and then
when it catches on fire, it makes those
little...little strings of black smoke with
little ashes attached to them.
That's how it was kissing honey lips.
		C:  Why are we doing it?
		Why have we changed something?)
W:  And I still haven't found it.
					B (Bono):  Uh...
W:  What I'm looking for, that is.
I just don't know where the Hell
it is...I just can't seem to find it...
					B:  The last thing we wanted
					to do was sound like anybody
					else.  So with U2...
		C:  That's the letter U
		and the numeral 2.
					B:  you've gotta challenge it, you
					know, musically speaking, you know,
					you've gotta find new sounds in a
					guitar, you've gotta find a new way
					of approaching a 4/4 beat.  You know,
					rock and roll still needs innovation
					...and there's a lot, there's a...
					there's a lot out there.
V4:  Someone has said, "Get a great
idea, a great purpose, marry it, and
raise a family.
		C:  What the Hell's going on here?
					V5:  Bono.
	A2:  Why, Billy, look!
		C:  I should be saying,
		"American Top 40 is heard
		in the fifty states, and around the..."
V4:  Are you two married
to a great idea?
		C:  It was...it was every week,
		"American Top 40 is heard in the..."
	A2:  Everything is topsy-turvy!
					A1:  I'll say it is!
		C:  Is it to just screw up things?
V4:  Marriage is not you two
living for each other.
		C:  'Cause I can't say this...y'know...
					A1:  Let's see what we can find.
	A2:  Everything is such a mess!
		C:  Jeez, I thought we were
		almost finished...
V4:  It is you two uniting to live
as a team for this great purpose.
					A1:  What's the matter?
					Find something?
	A2:  No.
					CBJ (CB jammer): [unintelligible]...
					fuck his ass...go jerk his bone!
	A2:  No, I can't find anything here.
WCB:  That damn sewer-mouth is back again.
	A2:  There's no one in here now...
					CBJ:  ...[unintelligible]...
	A2:  There's nothing but Uncle Jim's
	shortwave radio set.)
		C:  Ponderous!  Is Don on the phone?
					D (Don):  Hi, Casey. Uh, had 'em
					put me right on the speakerphone for
					ya.  Uh, now...I just got word from
					Mr. Friday that, uh...uh, we can't
					pay you anything for this until, uh,
					our label sends us some of the money
					they owe us...so, this will, uh, have
					to be benefit terms...so, uh...
		C:  Good golly, Miss Molly!
					D:  Well, I gotta catch a plane. Give
					my regards to the Weatherman and, uh,
					heh, You Too!
		C:  You know, they do this to me
		all the time...I dunno what the hell
		they do it for, but...
CB:  Yeah that...the guy that was
talking to the sewer-mouth there,
bring 'im back.
		C:  Now, make it--and I also want to
		know what happened to the pictures I
		was supposed to see this week?
WCB:  Hey, sewer-mouth!
					CBJ:  Could be...hey, I'm on a
					frequency, bet ya can't find me!
CB:  Hes's got the
sideband out there?
		C: That's the letter 2,
		and the numeral U.
W:  Nyeh ha ha haaa.
I was a worm in the night
					CB:  [unintelligible]
W:  And cold as a stone, I was.
		C:  Alright, alright...
		OK, let's try it, OK?
	UMTV (MTV Rock Video Awards
	presenter): Cyndi?
					CL (Cyndi Lauper):  OK...
W:  And I believe in kingdom come...
	UMTV:  Cyndi?
					CL:  OK...
W:  And all the colors
bleeding into one big mess.
					CL:  OK...
W:  I'll probably have to get out
the S.T.P. cleaner on that one,
maybe the 409, but I'm not sure yet.
					CL:  Uh...
		C:That's the letter U,
		and the numeral 2.
	UMTV:  I have the envelope here...
W:  And you broke the bonds.
					CL:  And uh...
W:  You broke the goddamn bonds...
					CL:  And uh...
W:  You loosened the chains...
	UMTV:  I have the envelope...
W:  You carried a cross...
	UMTV:  I have the envelope here...
W:  And my shame, and my shame...
Shame, shame, shame,
shame, shame...
					CL:  And uh...
W:  So much shame, yeah.
Ha, ha, hoo, hoo, hee, ha, haaa.
					CL  And uh...I'm a
					little nearsighted.
		C:  Why have we changed changed something
		that we've been doing all along?
W:  You know, I believe it.
		C:  Alright...
W:  Nope, I guess I don't
believe it...I don't know
what I'm talking about...
		C:  This is, this is
		blowin'...ya know...
W:  But, nevertheless,
I still haven't found it.
		C:  That's the letter U...
W:  I haven't found what I'm
looking for, I haven't found it...
		C:  I can't say it again!
W:  I'm lookin' for it, but I don't
even know where it is.
		C:  ...and the numeral 2.
W:  I don't even really know...
					CL:  Before we announce
					the winner...
W:  ...anything anymore, I just...
		C:  See, that doesn't
		sound right either.
W:  ...I don't really
know what to do...
					CL:  Let's just...
		C:  Alright...
					CL:  Let's just...
W:  ...or do I?
					CL:  ...recap...
		C:  OK, let's just
		try it, OK?
					CL:  ...the nominees.
W:  But I still haven't found it.
		C:  That's the letter U,
		and the numeral 2.
W:  That doesn't make sense:
"But I still haven't found it,
I'm looking..."
	UMTV:  I have the envelope here...
W:  "I'm...", no, "I'm,
I'm looking for it..."
	UMTV:  I have the envelope here...
W:  No, just:  "I'm--
looking--for--it."
	UMTV:  I have the envelope...
		C:  That's the letter U,
		and the numeral 2.
W:  And...I...
					CBJ:  There ain't nobody can
					find me on this frequency.
W:  Ha, ha, ha, ha...
			MTVA (MTV Rock Video Awards
			announcer):  U2, U2, U2, U2...
W:  I just don't know much of
anything.  Maybe I oughta be shot
point blank in the stamper tonight.
		C:  That's the letter U,
		and the numeral 2.
					CBJ:  Hey, c'mon, find me...
					you can't find me?...
		C:  Is that the way I say that?
		I dunno how to say it.
			MTVA:  U2, "I Still Haven't
			What I'm Looking For".
W:  Well, I'll be jiggered.
There it is.
		C:  We're counting down the 40
		biggest hits in the 50 states.
WCB:  Hey sewer-mouth,
we're gonna getcha.
		C:  "This is American Top 40..."
		This is American Top 40, heard..."
		...God, I hate that.  We come outta
		that, and then I gotta say
		the goddamned Ameri...
					CL:  And uh...
		C:  I hear the American Top 40
		jingle and then I say, "This is
		American Top For..."
					CL:  And uh, the winner is...
		C:  Let the goddamn jingle I.D.
		this show.  I I.D. the show whenever
		there isn't a jingle, don't I?
					CL:  The winner is...
		C:  Don't I do it between every
		goddamn record that we play?
					CL:  INXS!
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