Last night I stopped off for a beer on my way home

And I saw this broken hearted sweet thing cryin' all alone

My tender heart was deeply touched at the sight of a woman's tears

So I said hi there and I pulled up a chair and ordered us a couple of beers

We must have drunk a gallon of brew when I looked at my watch it was half past two

And I suddenly realized I hadn't even called my wife

And knowin' what would happen to me when I get home

I nearly broke my neck gettin' to the phone

And here's what I told her in an effort to save my life

Don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped

Considering what I've been through I'm in good shape

Well my wrist and ankles are a little sore from the tape

But don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped

[ guitar - steel ]

Now if you got tied up somewhere tonight on your way home

In a poker game or with a pretty dame and it slips your mind to phone

Don't blow your cool like a crazy fool and tell your woman where you've been

Your situation requires imagination and I've got a suggestion my friend

Tell her now don't pay the ransom ...

No don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped