Don't laugh,
Don't laugh,
The paper said,
Cause soon he'll be dead.
Don't laugh,
Don't laugh,
The paper said,
Cause soon he'll be dead.

The paper said today...
The band would in fact play...
After canceling their shows.

Whoa-oh.

The doctors had discovered,
Deep down inside the drummer,
A somewhat large malignant growth.
It was testicular cancer,
The paper had all the answers,
They really seemed to have a ball.
'Cause cancer's funny after all
Cancer's funny after all.
Cancer's funny after all.
Cancer's funny after...

Don't laugh,
Don't laugh,
The paper said,
Cause soon he'll be dead.
Don't laugh,
Don't laugh,
The paper said,
Cause soon he'll be dead.

The paper said today,
They'd diagnosed too late,
The prognosis seems mighty slim.

Whoa-oh.

Don't you think it's funny,
'Cause it's his balls and not his tummy?
Our prayers are with him.

The paper said today...