OK... Taxi!



I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi 

I got it first, but she slipped in before me 

Just as I was telling her, hey this is mine, ho

She'd already told the cab driver where to go 



Me - I always show respect for the ladies 

I sat back and let her have it her way 

So good lord sees me through darkness and light 

I tell you what I remembered from that night 



I'm hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat? 

I can't go on forever on Cognac and weed 

But she was already on the way down in the seat 

I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn't 



So there I was in a strange situation 

The chauffeur said I can drop you off at the station 

I said no man, no don't 

I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road 



You don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 

No, you don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 

You don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 



Two hours later, she was still at it 

The driver had to refill gasoline and shit 

Baby baby, introduce yourself 

What's your name, girl? 

My name is Fred 

Fred? 

Fred, yeah 

Fred, a'what a'what did you say? 

Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay 

Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay 



You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 

No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 



So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into 

Just think of me that night and what I went through 

I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head 

Until I realized it was this dude called Fred ... Hello 



And that was a Birmingham Ho 

Hey, ho hey, ho hey 

And that was a Birmingham Ho 

Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey 



Take it away now.. 



Hold on a minute, that's bullshit 

You told me it was a microphone 

And wanted me to sing in it 

I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them 

I don't think it's me, I think it's you that have a problem 

So zip up and try to be a gentleman 

I have feelings too and I don't need you to hurt them 

So zip up and try to be a gentleman 

So zip up and try to be a gentleman 



You don't have to be gay to make a FRD feel good OK 

No, you don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 

You don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK



You don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 

No, you don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 

You don't have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK 



And that was a Birmingham Ho 

Hey, ho hey, ho hey 

And was a Birmingham Ho 

Ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey...