It's the eightes
And we're feelin so fresh
We're yet to discover
The internet
So masturbation is at an all time low
You're looking for a place
To blow your load

You meet and she likes your clothes
You throw the bait
And she's takes hook
Pause the scene
Lets take a look

Do you or don't you?
Don't you or do you?
Do you or don't you?
USE YA HEAD WHEN YA GO TO BED!

C-O-N-D-O
M is for mother
Who told me a story
Wear a Johnny Rubber
Or you'll be sorry
STI's wont make you fly
Girls hate guys with syphilis

Take little graham he fell in love
To busy dreaming didn't think enough
But over time Jennys tummy grew
Now she's talk of the town with a baby too

Do you or don't you?
Don't you or do you?
Do you or don't you?
USE YA HEAD WHEN YA GO TO BED

I-M-P-L-A-N-T

Love sock, Love glove
Willie warmer robbers
Rubber Johnny
Johnny bag
Jimmie hatz dobbers

Something to remember as a rule of fun
One up the bum and there's no harm done

Love sock, Love glove
Willy warmer robbers
Rubber Johnny
Johnny bag
Jimmie hatz dobbers

Something to remember as a rule of fun
One up the bum and you wont be a mum

C-O-N-T-R-A-C-E-P-T-I-O-O-O-O-O-O-N