Quiet!

Martin loved Susie, they had it made
They'd been the best of friends since the 2nd grade
They grew up and went to college in different states
But promised that they'd get married if they never 
found mates
Well the years pass by, and what do you know?
They saw each other after college at an Atmosphere show
They dated and had fun being back together
Susie came over for Christmas and gave Martin a sweater
They decided there and then they were mean to be
So one night Martin got down on his right knee
But Susie said "one second!" as her cell phone rang
It was a college ex-boyfriend Philip Teng
"I want you back," the voice said with much veracity
Susie said, "I do too!" with much alacrity
So Martin sat dejected, rejected and alone
If only Susie had turned off her cell phone 

CHORUS:
Turn your cell phone off, turn your cell phone off
Turn your cell phone off, turn your cell phone off
Turn your cell phone off, turn your cell phone off
Turn your cell phone off, turn your cell phone off

Phillip's father Daryl Teng, was afraid to fly
But he packed his bags and kissed his son goodbye
He got on the airplane at Ohara airport
On his way to Phoenix to testify in court
As his flight took off, he thought about his family
And his Boston cousin David who just turned 53
He took out his Blackberry wrote a birthday email
Dangerous like drive-through ATM Braille
See when airplanes take off put your gadgets away
They mess up communication and lead to disarray (hey)
As the plane crashed down over Wilcox Nebraska 
Daryl felt like Will Rogers leaving Barrow Alaska
It interfered with navigation without any hesitation
Causing tragic interference, and general devastation 
A grim situation, it all seemed very scary
This never would have happened if Phil turned off his 
Blackberry

CHORUS:
Turn your blackberry off, turn your blackberry off
Turn your blackberry off, turn your blackberry off
Turn your blackberry off, turn your blackberry off
Turn your blackberry off, turn your blackberry off

David Williams had a heart attack, eating on a 
chocolate snack
Died in Aisle Four in fact, falling right onto to his 
back
Years of eating Twinkies had taken their toll (uh huh)
So God came down and claimed his Epicurean soul
His brother got his comics, his friend got his computer
The Salvation Army got his POG's and Razor Scooter
As for his wife Lorraine, she grieved the whole year 
through 
She found a younger lover Martin who was lonely too
The funeral was grim as they lowered David's corpse
His grade school friends showed up and gave their 
support
It went according to plan until the unexpected
There was a ringing from the ground the mortician had 
neglected
Mr. Williams was connected posthumously
To the land of electronics for all eternity
The bills could have been ridiculous they dug up David 
quick
We all know he never went anywhere without his Sidekick 
(uh huh)

CHORUS:
Turn your Sidekick off, turn your Sidekick off
Turn your cell phone off, turn your cell phone off
Turn your blackberry off, turn your blackberry off
You're not that important, you're not that important

Quiet!