My name's Nate, and I'll be your RA for this year. Today,
we'll be moving into our dorms and building community. 
So go get your keys from the main office, come back, and 
Get ready to meet your roommates... alright? 

He was the roommate from Hell! 
He was the roommate from Hell! 


He lacked social skills and had a pungent smell 
When your roommate is the devil, it can be extremely whack 
Putting posters on the wall, of Trapt and Nickelback
Until the break of dawn he'd be mutilating sheep 
"It's 4 a.m. Satan, can you please go to sleep?" 
I can't have girls over when the dorm smells like sterno 
When did room 56 become Dante's inferno? 
He likes death and destruction, I like radio and art, 
He likes holding down Christians and reading Jean Paul Sartre 
While I'm going to class studying my notes 
He's eating baby fetuses and sacrificing goats 
He tricks the freshman girls into eating apples 
Holding black masses down at the Campus Chapel 
Should have never moved in, wish I were dead 
Should have found a place off campus on Craig's List instead 


He was the roommate from Hell. His name was Lucifer 
Someone call a priest. And bring the crucifer 
He was the roommate from Hell. Leaves his pitchfork in my bed 
I'm in a satanic panic. 'Cause he is messing with my head 


Not my fault we're mismatched 
You geek out over Beakman's World, 
I dig on World of WitchCraft 
You're thinking that I'm riff raff, huffing on a dishrag
I am just a player, play Slayer then I kick back 
I know I reek of sulfur, leave the shower curtain open 
I come home drunk, make crank calls 
To Queens and then Hoboken 
But college is like Salem, all these bitches be so smokin'
If you're thinking that I'm leaving 
Then I'm thinking that you're jokin'! 
I gotta share my bunk with this post-punk chump 
Calls this place a dump says, "You've been through all my stuff, 
I wish you'd go to Hell." I say, "Hey that's where I'm from!" 
Blasts Death Cab and Devo he's too emo to get crunk
I was a very nice boss down in Paradise Lost 
I had very nice bling 'cause my minions mind floss 
To hell with college, this is knowledge at a very high cost 
Gotta go do some blow with that ho... Kate Moss! 



When you call yourself a rapper, dude, 
How many Dead Milkman albums 
Are there named after you? 
I always got beer. I always got weed. Best roommate ever. 
If you'd ever ask me!