In a magical land, in a magical town
Santa and his magic elves are hanging around
buiding magical toys for boys and girls
to deliever to the world and bring christmas joy
the reindeer and snug in their snow-covered stable
while Santa puts turkey on the dinner table
but a mile away, huddled in the snow
Gary sits scared as the artic winds blow
alone, on his own, forgotten and lost
surviving on roots and the permafrost
dreams of joining Santa's team filled Gary's head
and he'd walk by the stable 
when they had all gone to bed
he'd tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh
cutting Gary's self-esteem painfully in half
he was Rudolph's half-brother, unplanned, unwanted,
by his father's indiscretions
he would be forever haunted

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer
was of unexpected birth
but one year he saved Christmas 
and he proved to them his worth 
all of the other reindeer, reindeer
used to laugh and make him cry
they never let poor Gary, Gary
fly with them up in the sky

in a big dark castle, on the other side of town
Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown
with a bat on his shoulder, decked in a black cape
he devised a new plan to make America shake
he said, "i'll destroy Christmas, here's what i'll do:
i'll kidnap poor Rudolph as 9/11 part 2
the west will quake when their holiday is gone
then i'll rule the world, like my name was Exxon"
he snuck into the stable, so he could steal
Rudolph and he left in his jihad mobile
Santa found out the news and he said "oh, dear,
Rudolphs gone, there will be no christmas this year"
the elves began to cry and the sky turned grey
then Gary heard the sobs walking by that day
he shared Rudolph's DNA and had something to say
he said "i can guide your sleigh
and make everything ok"

Santa said, "who are you?"
Gary said, "i'm Rudolph's half brother, 
you can tell 'cause my nose is green, instead of red"
Santa said, "whatever, just put on this harness"

so then one happy Chirstmas eve
Santa came to say, say
"Gary, with your nose so green
won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
then all the reindeer loved him, loved him 
and they shouted out "hurray!"
Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer
thanks for saving Christmas day
And the toys were delivered across the world
bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl
Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go
and the brothers reunited in the north pole snow
Rudolph said, "hey Gary, i'm sorry we laughed 
and left you forgotten, like president Taft
we know it made you cry, we're sorry we were mean
we'd like you to join our reindeer team"
and that is how Christmas got its colors
from the red and green noses
of the reindeer brothers
you may see them flying high on Christmas eve
bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve
and Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise
Playstation 2s and Greenday cds
but nada for Osama as they say in espanol
no Gamecubes in his stocking
now Santa brings him coal

Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer
was of unexpected birth
but one year he saved Christmas 
and he proved to them his worth 
all of the other reindeer, reindeer
used to laugh and make him cry
they never let poor Gary, Gary
fly with them up in the sky

so then one happy Christmas eve 
Santa came to say, say
"Gary, with your nose so green
won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?"
then all the reindeer loved him, loved him 
and they shouted out "hurray!"
Gary the green nose reindeer, reindeer
thanks for saving Christmas day