I don't smoke blunts

'Cause I'm frugal with my dookie

I hock a loogie, spit it out

Then hit the hoochies



I'm on bud like Hux comma Rudy

It's my duty to get loopy

On the Buddha like it's bootie



I smoke fields

I cold cock craps

I smoke peels

Smoke Robe cough drops



I smoke if it's green

I smoke Monopoly homes

It spices up my life

When the monotony drones



I smoke bags

Smoke bails

Smoke 'till I see trails



Only time I put it down

Is when I see a female

Just a minor detail

That will usualy pass



I'll hit that ass

Hit that glass packed

Right with the grass



I smoke Greedo

I smoke Kermit

I smoke the weed

'Til it makes me vermit



I vote third party

That's code for get high

Pass the Yoshi

To the left hand side



Smokey doesn't like me

'Cause I burn up his trees

I smoke more sesame seeds

Than I was Mayor McCheese



I'm just a cancer ridden MC

Seekin' pain relief

Pass the marijuana

Hit it, hold in, release



Call me Dirty D 'cause the question's what the dilly

Fucked up like it's whisky and I'm fuckin' punkabilly

Fuck Tennesse, I'm chumley getting chilly

mc chris smoke tooth pick spliffs, fuck a philly



I'll scrape your bong

Steal roaches from your ashtray

I'll rent nice dreams

I'll rent Half Baked



I'll eat a box of Frosted Flakes

Because they taste great

Only leads to cat naps

Doesn't lead to date rape



Light the incense

Turn on the blacklight

Steady stressin'

Let's get stoned like stalactites



Break it out, break it up

Pack it the bag pipes

I hit the apple

And I ended up at Applebee's



Went to Wendy's

Went to Denny's

Went to Mickey D's



I went to Crystal

Went to Castle

Went where I pleased



Ate more meat and cheese

Than Mr. Dom Delouise

I slept all day

And I got nothing accomplished



Just being honest

I get paranoid and nautious

I get obnoxious

It's not comin' at a constant



It's a pipe

Not a pulpit

Pass it on

Or get accosted



Call me Dirty D 'cause the question's what the dilly

Fucked up like it's whisky and I'm fuckin' punkabilly

Fuck Tennesse, I'm chumley getting chilly

mc chris smoke tooth pick spliffs, fuck a philly