We are the old, we've got arthritis
Our gums are weak (so weak), from gingivitis

We are the old, we've got arthritis
We are the ones who wear bifocals, and have bursitis

There are people, younger, but we heed another call
We really need the money, our accountants took it all
We sing to you, those who have money
Once we were cool, but now we just dress funny

We need your help, so please please dig deep
Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep
We have medicare, and anti-gas pills
But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills

We are the old, (they are the old)
We have arthritis ( they have arthritis)
Once we were gods, now golf excites us (golf excite 'em)

So write a check (a really big one), for our December,
There's one more verse, but we can't remember