(feat. Simon Le Bon & Wiley)





I take too long

To answer telephones

I take too long to type my name

And record messages

But my handwriting is excellent

In fact it's second to none, none



I just got in

From somewhere really good

They offered me the part of Bono

And a speaking role

With all the merchandise

And sunglasses

I could ever need, need



I drive round cities in a chariot

I get preferential treatment

At the Marriott but if the truth be told

I'm naked under all those clothes



I tell you what is on my mind

I only want to be

In your record collection

I only want to be

In your record collection

And I'll do anything it takes

Just to get there



My brain is buzzing

And the room is strange

Like the scene in trading places

At the stock exchange

I made a million overnight in '87

Now I'm living in my 

Parking space, parking space



My teeth are bright

And my hair is clean

I wear Paco Rabanne

Like I was Charlie Sheen

But in the rain we all look wet

And in the snow we all look cold



[CHORUS]



Disgusted by all the flashness

I think I'm a don

They think I'm an actor

But I catch this

My two needs

Are pillow and a mattress

Once I can fill up the space

With a famous actress

Give me a mil, I'll do a DJ set

I pull spikey with the green

Like a cactus

Show off, ego's high

You can't match this

Chauvinistic Pig

Money Man tactics



I'm not as clever

As I thought I was

It got pointed out to me

As I was tying the knot

And all I want to know is

How I got so far down, down



I'm not as lucky

As I thought I was

My luck ran out the other day

As I was crossing the road

Who would have thought

A truck like that



Could have caused so much...



[CHORUS]