Well now the school Christmas party is coming

Ain't doing rugby no more

McIntyre teaching us waltzing

Out on the gymnasium floor

Nobody battered or bleeding

Nobody's tattered and torn

McIntyre's dim, loud in the gym

Well, we've only got a little (...)

We've only got a little (...) 



And it's you, you, you're a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

We dance with ourselves, when the (...) find their space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our hearts, 



On the big final manoeuvre, all of our heads are a whirl

Getting much closer to the deep thing

This time we'll do it with girls

In the arena the ladies are waiting

A twelve year old girl for a bride

The matches were fixed, somehow we mixed

And the fat girl got left on the side

The fat girl got left on the side. 



And it's you, you, you're a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

We dance with ourselves, when the (...) find their space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

It's the secondary waltz 



Well you come to my right, and I am under the light

See that my footwork is false

Don't count me out, the start of the bow

I'm just doing secondary waltz

Doing secondary waltz

And it's the secondary waltz

Yeah, it's the secondary waltz