When I was 10 I had a live in babysitter
She had a pet kangaroo
Wore big breasts and feathers.
She gave me ice cream every time I screamed and hollered
And I loved her till I
Caught her sexing my father.

She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her.
She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her.

When I was 13 the plumber stopped by
The house was flooding
And no one knew why.
Within no time at all he got rid of the water
And I was grateful
Till I caught him plunging my mother.

He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him.
He gonna hurt you momma never again
he wasn't a friend
So I killed him.
He gonna hurt your momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him.

And I don't feel bad about it.
Say what?
And I don't feel bad about it.
These are my fondest childhood memories.
I was just a kid
So they let me go despite the murders that I did
All grown up now as you can see
My parents are still happily married
Thanks to me.

She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her.
She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her.

He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him.
He gonna hurt you momma never again
he wasn't a friend
So I killed him.

These are my fondest childhood memories