I am Jan Brady, 

and you must believe that 

or forever perish in your doubt 

I am the soul embodiment of Jan, 

and I exist to serve the Brady alter 

for I have become one with another soul, 

and I have no need for others! 



* Chorus* 



Jan Brady has returned 

took over my soul and body 

then the hairstyle flew up all by itself 

never to be changed 

I am Jan, Jan I am 

I like to eat green eggs and ham 



so now you must believe and worship me 

or else a lost soul you will be 

I pick up my lunch from Alice our house keeper 

I go to school with my Brady brothers 

we live in the same house 

but we come from different mothers! 



*Chorus* 



I know I cracked the family picture with my bike 

I was'nt wearing my glasses 

but I fixed everything with a bat of my eye lashes 

with my wig, I'll be a smash 

polyester plaid bell bottoms, 

I ain't no TRASH!!!! 



*Chorus*