Last night I told ya I loved ya,
woke up blamed it on the vodka
I generally thought I was dying
and I could see that smile you were hiding

Last night I told ya I need ya,
that's the last time I drink tequila
Super lemon and his psychic salt kit,
I start crying and verbally assaultin'

Last night I asked you to marry me,
that's when I remembered the brandy
I wake up and claim I didn't say it,
screwed if I ever wake up in Vegas

Wish I could stop and I'm not joking
Drinking too much and socially smoking
Wish I could stop, start to behave and then
wake up in the morning and never miss a day again

Last night I called you a loser,
I think that was after flaming sambuca
I shouted at you 'do me a favor'
and that's when I fell off the pavement

Wish I could stop and I'm not joking
Drinking too much and socially smoking
Wish I could stop, start to behave and then
wake up in the morning and never miss a day again

Cause I'd love to learn when to shut my mouth
Wake up in the morning and be in my own house
Do one last shot and know when to stop
No more photos on facebook of me doing the robot

Know when to leave and when to lock my front door
Stop waking up in cheese and in a bed full of people
Sitting in a cupboard with my weird best friend
But I'm only young so I'm not gonna pretend

I wish I could stop cause I'm not joking
I love drinking too much and socially smoking
Don't wanna stop or learn to behave, Amen
And I, hey, just missed another day again