I was stuck in a rut,

And I was explaining to you

How I had this fear

That in 30 years

I'd be frail, destitute and alone,

Nothing to show for my life, nothing,

Living in a house of cats,

Afraid to go to the store,

Not so attractive anymore.

I was going on about it at great length;

All of a sudden

I stopped and sighed,

And you replied:

 

I can hear every word you say,

But it's very unbecoming.

Once in a while you may feel that way,

But it's very unbecoming.

 

There's so much to worry about.

It can take up absolutely all your time!

The cruel tricks of fate, the ravages of age,

The decline of music, the way the world is run...

It's enough to make you sabotage your fun,

Just waiting for the axe to fall.

You watch the news so often, you're in thrall.

'Fraid you'll take off through the roof,

The way your nerves are humming,

 

And it's very unbecoming.

Now and again you may feel that way,

But it's very unbecoming.

 

I used to be terrified of being betrayed, right?

And I'd made this guy

The center of my life.

He'd stay out late at night.

I'd lie there and count the passing cars,

Fifty-one, fifty-two.

At the time, there seemed like

Nothing I could do.

He'd never come over, never call;

Invariably, I'd wake up fuming about it all,

Have screaming arguments with him

In my head.

Then one morning I looked in the mirror

And I said:

 

I can see how upset you are,

But it's very unbecoming.

You've taken this quite a bit too far,

And it's very unbecoming.

Oh, I can hear every word you say,

But it's very unbecoming

Now and again you might feel this way,

But it's very unbecoming.

 

You can fear that if you find success,

You'll be torn to pieces by a nasty throng,

Because they're all convinced

Your point of view is wrong.

You could lose your marbles,

Or even break your heart.

You can fear the psycho lurking in the minimart,

Or fear the splitting of the earth,

Or fear you overestimate your worth.

You can be afraid of everything,

 

But it's very unbecoming.

Now and again you may feel that way,

But it's very unbecoming.