About a year ago - I heard this truly terrific, absolutely true story
And it just so happens that I told a couple of friends of mine this truly terrific, absolutely true story
And it just so happens that these friends of mine are song writers
And guess what happened, right, truly terrific, absolutely true song

Gather around, I've got a story to tell, About a Manhattan lady that I know very well
She lives at five Riverside, her name is Shirley Devore, And she travelled 'round the world to meet the guy next door

Well there was trouble inside apartment 29 E, 'Cause Shirley's mother and dad were as upset as can be
They said we hate to complain dear and we don't like to grouse, But your nearly 32, you should get out of the house

You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells, You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling, You gotta ring - them - bells

Well Shirley was 31, which she was loathe to admit, And she had never been loved, which didn't thrill her a bit
And so she sat and she thought, she thought for hours on end, And said I'll go to Chase, Manhattan, where I got me a friend

And so she borrowed a thou' and called TWA, And told her mother and dad that she was up and away
I'm gonna travel the continent, a month, maybe two, And haul me home a hus' if it's the last thing I do

You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells, You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling, You gotta ring - them - bells

She met a Londoner first, but they did not hit it off, 'Cause every time she approached he got a bronchial cough
And so she went to Madrid and met a handsome Senior, But he liked to throw the bul