[Orin]

When I was younger,

Just a bad little kid,

My momma noticed funny things I did-

Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun. 

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,

I'd find a pussy cat and bash in it's head.

Thats when my momma said...

[Girls]

What did she say?

[Orin]

She said my boy Ii think someday

You'll find a way

To make your nat-u-ral tendencies pay!

You'll be a Dentist!



You have a talent for causing things pain

Son, be a dentist!

People will pay you to be inhumane

Your temperamant's wrong for the priesthood

And teaching would suit you still less!

Son, be a dentist!

You'll be a success!



((Next lines are spoken))

[Ronette]

Here he is, girls, the Leader of The Plaque.

[Chiffon]

Watch him suck up that gas! Oh my God!

[Crystal]

He's a Dentist and he'll never-ever be any good!

[All Three]

Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? Oh, that hurts! I'm not numb!



[Orin]

Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come!

((Back to singing))

I am your Dentist!

[Girls]

(Goodness Gracious!)

[Orin]

And I enjoy the career that I picked!

[Girls]

(You love it)

[Orin]

I am your Dentist!

[Girls]

(Fitting braces!)

[Orin]

And I get off on the pain I inflict!

[Girls]

(You really love it!)

[Orin]

When I start extracting your molars-

[Girls]

(Don't try it!)

[Orin]

You girls will be screaming like holy rollers!

[Girls]

Dentist!

[Orin]

And though it may cause my patients distress

[Girls]

Distress!

[Orin]

Somewhere in heaven above me,

I know that my mama's proud of me!

Oh Mama!

Cause I'm a dentist...

And a success!



((The following final part is spoken))

[Orin]

Say "Ah"!

[Girls]

Ah

[Orin]

Say "Ah"!

[Girls]

Ah

[Orin]

Say "Ah"!

[Girls]

Ah

[Orin]

Now, spit!