There are those who manage such a charmed existence

Lucky ladies who've been fortunate since birth

All the major domos know them

And obligingly will show them

Straight to the only table left on earth

These are people for whom life is not a challenge

They've got savoir faire that oozes pedigree

They're the women men will die for

And millionaires will buy for

But I fear these ladies aren't me...



The cake life served me

is upside down

The soup du jour I'm having spills

On my best gown

I get all wet

Each time I surf the net, yet

Baby, don't ask me why



It always rains on

My one day off

And my blind date turned into

Boris Karloff

It's like a curse

I go from bad to worse but

Baby, don't ask me why



Funny...

Down at the IRS

I get the guy who never says "yes"

God, what a mess

It's all so taxing

Maybe...

Life is a cosmic gaff

Fashioning punch lines into a laugh

Too cute by half

I don't know, don't ask me And then I saw you

That rainy day...

Drenched to the bone and all alone

What can I say

When you are near

My motor hits high gear, dear

No clue, don't ask me why



Maybe...

This is the perfect deal

This time the schmo has found her schlemiel

Now maybe we'll

Find that happy ending

Maybe...

You are the missing cog



Maybe the princess lost in the fog

Kiss the one frog

Who was worth befriending



The world will go on

Much as before

I'll lose the keys right after

You lock the door

It seems to me

That we were meant to be, see

We've got compatibility

You're the pie and I'm the face

You're the shoe tripping on my lace

You're the yin and I'm the yang

You're the lemon and I'm meringue

You're the fourth of my July

Together we'll blow sky high, and

we'll never say good-bye...but

Baby, don't ask me why



Why don't elephants fly?

Why are high heels so high?

Why is Ru Paul a guy?

Baby, don't ask me why